Hi, Roller

Rolls Royce fancies a slice of the uber-SUV cake.

Simon Hacker checks Goodwood's latest recipe.

Q Is this what I think it is?

Afraid so. Behold the car the world has been waiting for. Apparently. In the wake of Lamborghini, Ferrari and, of course, Bentley, Rolls Royce is revealing the first teasing shots and details of its entry to the SUV class.

Q Blimey, so no brand is SUV-free now?

Morgan hasn't revealed anything yet. Hello Malvern? What planet are you on? However, if you buy into RR's marketing patter, this is no SUV, don't you know. It's actually a 'high-bodied' car, and not what your eyes are logically telling you.

Q High-bodied? What does that mean?

It means Rolls Royce is having trouble with the letters SUV, probably because they sound, well, a bit Vauxhall.

Q Are you inferring Rolls Royce is snobbish?

As if one could. Make your own mind up by reading the press announcement... "Three years ago in the pages of The Financial Times, Rolls-Royce announced to the world that it would create an all-new, high-bodied car that would redefine luxury travel by making it Effortless, Everywhere. Since that day the world has waited, anticipating the arrival of this mould-breaking new Rolls-Royce."

Q And what will the world call it?

Lo, thy name will be Cullinan.

Q Culliwhat? Sounds like a Scottish broth.

"The name Cullinan has been hiding in plain sight since we revealed it as the project name some years ago," says Torsten Müller-Ötvös, head honcho at Rolls-Royce and a lifelong BMW man. "It is the most fitting name for our extraordinary new product. Cullinan is a motor car of such clarity of purpose, such flawless quality and preciousness, and such presence that it recalibrates the scale and possibility of true luxury. Just like the Cullinan Diamond, the largest flawless diamond ever found, it emerges when it is perfect and exists above all others."

Q OMG, a case of one SUV to rule them all and in the darkness bind them?

Yes, Müller-Ötvös isn't coy. He also adds: "Quite simply, the name Cullinan is perfect and brilliant." And iff you can bear the extended diamond analogy, "Like the diamond, the Rolls-Royce Cullinan has undertaken a fascinating journey. From the searing deserts of Africa and the Middle East to the freezing snows of the Arctic Circle; from the grassy glens of the Scottish Highlands to the towering canyons of North America, the designers, engineers, craftspeople and artisans of the House of Rolls-Royce have shaped, tested and polished this unique motor car to eliminate any flaw and make it Effortless, Everywhere... Unique and unequalled in its brilliance, every facet of the Rolls-Royce Cullinan scintillates." If you listen carefully, you can hear motoring editors aching for any story of a breakdown or, as in 2015, a product recall (though that was for a total of one).

Q So what of the car itself?

Beyond this plush PR, we don't know a huge amount as yet, and the anti-spy bodywork (which is 5.55m long) distorts a proper view of the car's final form. However, you can be fairly sure this 4x4 will sport a 6.75 twin-turbo V12 akin to the Phantom while, with the Bentayga in its headlights, it's going to surely be capable of 62mph in under five seconds. It'll also share the aluminium architecture of the next Phantom. I'm also told RR doesn't plan to get its fingers dirty with diesel options.

Q And the price?

When it goes on sale later this year you'll need around £300,000 for this diamond, geezer.

Q Darn it. Can you console me with a silly fact?

RR is famous for ultra bespoke speccing. But it recently turned down one request: to take the airbags out for a cigar humidor.